I’ve been putting off publishing this entry for the longest time. On one hand because I feel like I’m not experienced enough, and on the other because it hits a little too close to my neighbourhood. Today’s subject is love! The romantic type. What made me finally decide to share my thoughts, funny enough, is a love song; I know… how cliché right?!
To give you a little background, I grew up with two boys who were ready to take it down to the floor any time, any day. Our house was literally a battlefield and being the only girl, and on top of that, the youngest; I had to be ready to defend myself any time, any day. As I grew older, this mentality never really left me. I never really let people in, and I always tried my best to protect my little heart from hurt because at the end of the day that’s what it comes back to.
So, when people come out of unfulfilling relationships and swear they’ll never love again, and when Rihanna sings that it’s going to take a miracle to bring her back, I get it! It’s called protecting oneself, a natural defense mechanism.
We’re all human, nobody likes to suffer especially after being so vulnerable. When you believe you’ve dug deep into yourself to find the very best of your being in order to offer it to your significant other just so they can crash it, or overlook it, it can only feel like you have nothing else left to give to the next person. Heck, you don’t even want to give anything else.
So, we find enough courage and enough strength to build high, insurmountable walls to protect the bruised heart. We pride ourselves on a new-found intellect when it comes to the matters of the heart, and sometimes, we even look down on people in love because “they don’t know yet…” and we think “Brace yourself: hurt, depression, etc. they’re all coming!” Of course, any worthy theory must be backed by some sort of quote, so we say, “fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me…”
Again, I get it! I really do! But at the same time, how sad! How sad that from here forward, the best you could ever offer must be referred to in the past! How sad that your very best love was with an unworthy human who could never mirror your efforts. How sad that this unworthy person gets to determine the rest of your life. Why should their actions or lack thereof impact your life when they were the ones in the wrong?
So, my opinion? I say love again! You must dare love again, you owe it to yourself! Allow
yourself to discover a new side you never knew existed before; give yourself permission to rediscover what you’ve come to believe is just for others.
I’m not saying not to learn anything from these kind of relationships, and I’m definitely not encouraging to roam from one bad relationship to another until you finally find the right one. What I’m simply saying is that when you survive a hopeless relationship, the lesson should be choosing the right person for you, but certainly not, loving less.
As always, I’m more than interested in hearing your thoughts, and your comments are forever appreciated!